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Saturday, June 14, 2008

Scrat's ten common fishing expressions explained

1) Catch and Release: This is a conservation term that happens right before the local Fish and Game Protection Officer stops your boat when you have caught over the limit.

2) Hook: (i) A small curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (ii) A clever advertisement to entice a fisherman to spend his live savings on a new rod and reel. (iii) The punch administered by said fisherman's wife after he spends their life savings [see also, right hook, left hook].

3) Line: Something you give your colleagues when they ask on Monday how your fishing went over the weekend.

4) Lure: An object that is semi-enticing to fish, but will drive an angler into such a frenzy that he will charge his credit card to the limit before exiting the tackle shop.

5) Reel: A weighty object that causes a rod to sink quickly when dropped overboard.

6) Rod: An attractively painted length of fibreglass that keeps an angler from ever getting too close to a fish.

7) School: A grouping in which fish are taught to avoid your £15.99 [$USD30] lures and hold out for bread instead.

8) Tackle: What your last catch did to you as you reeled him in, but just before he wrestled free and jumped back overboard.

9) Tackle Box: A box shaped amazingly like your comprehensive first aid kit. Only a tackle box contains many sharp objects, so that when you reach in the wrong box blindly to get an elastoplasts [band aid], you soon find that you need more than one.

10) Test: (i) The amount of strength a fishing line affords an angler when fighting fish in a specific weight range. (ii) A measure of your creativity in blaming 'that flippin' line' for once again losing the fish.

1 comment:

Divemaster GranDad said...

11) "Shit" (i) what Fishman and the rest of the team caught at Kosi Bay a while back; (ii) what fishing can get you into with the missus when you are late for a date; (iii) what fishermen shout when that "big one" gets away.

:-)