That's why it's so important to have your eye makeup perfectly applied.
If it weren't for the excellent application of proper eye makeup this young lady probably wouldn't get a second look from most guys.
Then again, I could be wrong . . . . . .
Thursday, January 31, 2008
The Importance of Makeup
Remember ladies, the best way to attract a man is with your eyes.
That's why it's so important to have your eye makeup perfectly applied.
If it weren't for the excellent application of proper eye makeup this young lady probably wouldn't get a second look from most guys.
That's why it's so important to have your eye makeup perfectly applied.
If it weren't for the excellent application of proper eye makeup this young lady probably wouldn't get a second look from most guys.
Africa
A black couple are sitting in their apartment waiting to die.
There are no jobs to be had, inflation is running at 5000 percent, they haven't eaten a decent meal in weeks, and the water and power haven't worked in months.
So they sit huddled under blankets waiting for the end when suddenly they hear the water pipes begin to rumble and eventually water starts pouring out of the long unused taps.
Next thing the light begins to flicker and then fills the apartment with bright light.
On the streets below a truck arrives handing out grain.
The husband looks at his wife and says, "Quick woman, bring me my machine gun ! The whites are back !
There are no jobs to be had, inflation is running at 5000 percent, they haven't eaten a decent meal in weeks, and the water and power haven't worked in months.
So they sit huddled under blankets waiting for the end when suddenly they hear the water pipes begin to rumble and eventually water starts pouring out of the long unused taps.
Next thing the light begins to flicker and then fills the apartment with bright light.
On the streets below a truck arrives handing out grain.
The husband looks at his wife and says, "Quick woman, bring me my machine gun ! The whites are back !
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Mr. Anonymous
My name is Mr. Anonymous....here’s my story...
I ended up with an older woman at a club last night.
She looked OK for a 61-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking that she probably had a hot daughter. We drank a bit, and had a bit of a snuggle, and then she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double?"
What's that?" I asked
"It's a mother and daughter threesome," she said.
I said, "No" - excitedly. We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was "my lucky night"
.I went back to her place.
She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs:
"Mum, you still awake?"
I ended up with an older woman at a club last night.
She looked OK for a 61-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking that she probably had a hot daughter. We drank a bit, and had a bit of a snuggle, and then she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double?"
What's that?" I asked
"It's a mother and daughter threesome," she said.
I said, "No" - excitedly. We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was "my lucky night"
.I went back to her place.
She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs:
"Mum, you still awake?"
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Cellphones 4 sale
I'm selling 2 mobiles that I'm not using anymore, if anyone is Interested:
1) Almost new Nokia with camera (4.1 mega pixels)
2) Older model Nokia with camera and vibrating alert
1) Almost new Nokia with camera (4.1 mega pixels)
2) Older model Nokia with camera and vibrating alert
Monday, January 28, 2008
Kampvuur Grappies
1 - Dronk boemelaar kom in 'n parkie af op 'n ou in 'n sweetpak wat push-ups doen. "Eksjkuus meneer, die een wat jy probeer sjpyker isj weg"!
2 - Wat is die ooreenkoms tussen gebrande toast en 'n pregnant vrou? Met al twee wens jy - jy het vroeër uitgehaal!
3 - Wat is die definisie van 'n "G string" vol blommetjies: 'n gelukkige padda in Namakwaland!
4 - 'n Man is soos 'n selfoon, het jy hom, is hy lastig. Soek jy hom, Lê hy iewers. Het jy hom nodig, is hy altyd pap.
5 - Gatiep, koop vir hom 'n nuwe BMW. Elke 20km stop hy en kyk onder sy kar. Meraai vra: "wat maak tjy?" Gatiep sê: 'n Ding wat so lekker ry, moet 'n parra erens hê!
6 - Mans is half gemaak. Hulle het tieties sonir melk, voels sonir vere, eiers sonir doppe, sakke
sonir geld en klokke sonir klank. ..Shame
7 - 'n Vrou is soos 'n screensaver...... Die prentjie verander onmiddellik as jy aan die muis vat!
8 - Parkinson is beter as Alzheimer's. Ek bewe hom liewer in, as om te vergeet hoekom hy styf is!
9 - 3 Boetie boesmans loop in woestyn! Leeu kom agter bos uit! Oudste sê 'klie klom klak' Middelste sê 'klie klom gloot klak' Kleinste sê ' klaar geklak'
10 - Sannie en Jannie bad saam. Sannie: Jannie hoekom is joune so lank? Jannie: Want liewe Jesus het myne uitgetrek en joune ingedruk! Sannie: Jis, hy moes dit baie hard getrek het! Tot jou niertjies hang uit!
2 - Wat is die ooreenkoms tussen gebrande toast en 'n pregnant vrou? Met al twee wens jy - jy het vroeër uitgehaal!
3 - Wat is die definisie van 'n "G string" vol blommetjies: 'n gelukkige padda in Namakwaland!
4 - 'n Man is soos 'n selfoon, het jy hom, is hy lastig. Soek jy hom, Lê hy iewers. Het jy hom nodig, is hy altyd pap.
5 - Gatiep, koop vir hom 'n nuwe BMW. Elke 20km stop hy en kyk onder sy kar. Meraai vra: "wat maak tjy?" Gatiep sê: 'n Ding wat so lekker ry, moet 'n parra erens hê!
6 - Mans is half gemaak. Hulle het tieties sonir melk, voels sonir vere, eiers sonir doppe, sakke
sonir geld en klokke sonir klank. ..Shame
7 - 'n Vrou is soos 'n screensaver...... Die prentjie verander onmiddellik as jy aan die muis vat!
8 - Parkinson is beter as Alzheimer's. Ek bewe hom liewer in, as om te vergeet hoekom hy styf is!
9 - 3 Boetie boesmans loop in woestyn! Leeu kom agter bos uit! Oudste sê 'klie klom klak' Middelste sê 'klie klom gloot klak' Kleinste sê ' klaar geklak'
10 - Sannie en Jannie bad saam. Sannie: Jannie hoekom is joune so lank? Jannie: Want liewe Jesus het myne uitgetrek en joune ingedruk! Sannie: Jis, hy moes dit baie hard getrek het! Tot jou niertjies hang uit!
18 HOLES AND A CADDIE
A man goes to a public golf course. He approaches the man behind the counter in the pro shop and says, "I would like 18 holes of golf and a caddie."
The man behind the counter says, "We just received 8 brand new robot golf caddies. If you're willing to take one with you out on the course and come back and tell me how well it works, your round of golf is on me today."
The golfer obviously accepted the man's offer. He approached the first tee, looked at the fairway and said to himself, "I think my driver will do the job."
The robot caddie turned to the man and said, "No sir. Use your 3 wood. A driver is far too much club for this hole."
Hesitantly, the golfer pulled out his 3 wood, made good contact with the ball, and the ball landed about 10 feet to the right front of the hole on the green. The golfer, delighted, turned to the robot and thanked him for his assistance.
As the golfer pulled out his putter he said, "I think this green is going to break left to right."
The robot then again spoke up and said, "No sir. I do Believe this green will break right to left." he decided again to Listen to the machine, and he made the putt!
His entire game was the best game he ever played, thanks to the robot golf caddie. Upon returning to the clubhouse, the man behind the counter asked, "How was your game?"
The golfer stated, "It was, by far, the BEST game I ever played. Thank you for letting me take one of your robots".
The next week the golfer returned to the pro shop, turned to the man behind the counter and said, "I would like 18 holes of golf and one of those robot golf caddies, please."
The gentleman from behind the counter turned and said,
"We had to get rid of the robots. We had too many complaints."
Confused, the golfer cried, "COMPLAINTS? Who in the heck could've complained about those robots? They were incredible
The man sighed and said, "Well, it wasn't their performance. It was that they were made of shiny silver metal, and the sun reflecting off them was blinding to other golfers on the fairway."
The golfer said, "So then why didn't you just paint them black?"
The man nodded sadly and replied, "We did and then four of 'em didn't show up for work, two filed for welfare, and the other two robbed the pro shop.
The man behind the counter says, "We just received 8 brand new robot golf caddies. If you're willing to take one with you out on the course and come back and tell me how well it works, your round of golf is on me today."
The golfer obviously accepted the man's offer. He approached the first tee, looked at the fairway and said to himself, "I think my driver will do the job."
The robot caddie turned to the man and said, "No sir. Use your 3 wood. A driver is far too much club for this hole."
Hesitantly, the golfer pulled out his 3 wood, made good contact with the ball, and the ball landed about 10 feet to the right front of the hole on the green. The golfer, delighted, turned to the robot and thanked him for his assistance.
As the golfer pulled out his putter he said, "I think this green is going to break left to right."
The robot then again spoke up and said, "No sir. I do Believe this green will break right to left." he decided again to Listen to the machine, and he made the putt!
His entire game was the best game he ever played, thanks to the robot golf caddie. Upon returning to the clubhouse, the man behind the counter asked, "How was your game?"
The golfer stated, "It was, by far, the BEST game I ever played. Thank you for letting me take one of your robots".
The next week the golfer returned to the pro shop, turned to the man behind the counter and said, "I would like 18 holes of golf and one of those robot golf caddies, please."
The gentleman from behind the counter turned and said,
"We had to get rid of the robots. We had too many complaints."
Confused, the golfer cried, "COMPLAINTS? Who in the heck could've complained about those robots? They were incredible
The man sighed and said, "Well, it wasn't their performance. It was that they were made of shiny silver metal, and the sun reflecting off them was blinding to other golfers on the fairway."
The golfer said, "So then why didn't you just paint them black?"
The man nodded sadly and replied, "We did and then four of 'em didn't show up for work, two filed for welfare, and the other two robbed the pro shop.
PICK UP LINES THAT WORK ....LOL
1) Does you farted, cause you blew me away!
2) Is your parents retarded, 'cause you sure is special.
3) My Love for you are like diarrhoea... I can't hold it in.
4) Does you had a library card, 'cause I'd like to signs you out.
5) Are there a mirror in your pant, because I can saw myself in them.
6) You maybe isn't the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
7) Man - "Fat Penguin!" Woman - "WHAT?" Man - "I just wanted to say something that can like to break the ice."
8) I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can like to make your bed rock.
9 ) Your eyes is as blue as window cleaner.
10 ) If you is going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep til the afternoon.
11 ) I maybe not is Mr. Right, but I can like to stoot you till he showing up
2) Is your parents retarded, 'cause you sure is special.
3) My Love for you are like diarrhoea... I can't hold it in.
4) Does you had a library card, 'cause I'd like to signs you out.
5) Are there a mirror in your pant, because I can saw myself in them.
6) You maybe isn't the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
7) Man - "Fat Penguin!" Woman - "WHAT?" Man - "I just wanted to say something that can like to break the ice."
8) I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can like to make your bed rock.
9 ) Your eyes is as blue as window cleaner.
10 ) If you is going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep til the afternoon.
11 ) I maybe not is Mr. Right, but I can like to stoot you till he showing up
City lights from around the world
Moscow
Paris
Singapore
Washington
Brazil
Cologne Cathedral
Denver
Las Vegas
London
Paris
Singapore
Washington
Brazil
Cologne Cathedral
Denver
Las Vegas
London
Friday, January 25, 2008
Trip to Europe
A young woman in Cape Town was so depressed that she decided to endher life by throwing herself into the ocean. She went down to thedocks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young deck-hand saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying. Hetook pity on her and said, "Look, you've got a lot to live for. We'reoff to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on this ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day."Moving closer, he slipped his arm round her shoulder and added, "I'llkeep you happy, and you'll keep me happy, OK?"
The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Maybe afresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning. That night,the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and piece of fruit, andthey made passionate love until dawn. Three weeks later, during aroutine inspection, she was discovered by the captain. "What are you doing here?" the captain asked. "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get food and a trip to Europe, and he gets to screw me.""He sure is, lady," the captain said. "This is the Ferry making trips between Robben Island and the Waterfront."
The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Maybe afresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning. That night,the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and piece of fruit, andthey made passionate love until dawn. Three weeks later, during aroutine inspection, she was discovered by the captain. "What are you doing here?" the captain asked. "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get food and a trip to Europe, and he gets to screw me.""He sure is, lady," the captain said. "This is the Ferry making trips between Robben Island and the Waterfront."
Thursday, January 24, 2008
World biggies!
WORLD'S BUSIEST AIRPORT ...............NEW YORK
WORLD'S BIGGEST OFFICE COMPLEX ............ CHICAGO
WORLD'S TALLEST BUILDING .........DUBAI
WORLD'S LONGEST BRIDGE ...............CHINA
WORLD'S BIGGEST OFFICE COMPLEX ............ CHICAGO
WORLD'S TALLEST BUILDING .........DUBAI
WORLD'S LONGEST BRIDGE ...............CHINA
WORLD'S WIDEST BRIDGE .........AUSTRALIA
World biggies!
WORLD'S BIGGEST BUS
WORLD'S BIGGEST SHOPPING MALL
WORLD'S BIGGEST HOTEL .........LAS VEGAS
WORLD'S BIGGEST EXCAVATOR
WORLD'S BIGGEST INDOOR SWIMMING-POOL
WORLD'S BIGGEST PLANE ...............AIRBUS
WORLD'S LARGEST PALACE ......................ROMANIA
WORLD'S BIGGEST STADIUM ..........BRAZIL
WORLD'S MOST EXPENSIVE STADIUM .........ENGLAND
WORLD'S LARGEST MOSQUE ..................PAKISTAN
WORLD'S BIGGEST SHOPPING MALL
WORLD'S BIGGEST HOTEL .........LAS VEGAS
WORLD'S BIGGEST EXCAVATOR
MOST COMPLEX INTER-CHANGE .........TEXAS
WORLD'S BIGGEST INDOOR SWIMMING-POOL
WORLD'S BIGGEST PLANE ...............AIRBUS
WORLD'S LARGEST PALACE ......................ROMANIA
WORLD'S HIGHEST STATUE................BRAZIL
WORLD'S BIGGEST STADIUM ..........BRAZIL
WORLD'S MOST EXPENSIVE STADIUM .........ENGLAND
WORLD'S BIGGEST PASSENGER-SHIP
WORLD'S BIGGEST ROMAN-CATHOLIC CATHEDRAL
WORLD'S BIGGEST CHURCH BUILDING ......... NIGERIA
WORLD'S MOST EXPENSIVE HOTEL ...DUBAI...U.A.E
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