In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
1. On Pick n' Pay's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
2. On Clicks Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
3. On a Woolworths Bread Pudding
"Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
4. On a Clicks hair dryer - Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
5. On a bag of Simba Chips --
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary! Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
6. On a bar of Dove soap -
"Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be???....)
7. On some Checkers frozen dinners -
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(please note that it's just a suggestion.)
8. On the packaging of a Rowenta iron -
"Don't iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)
9. On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(..I'm taking this because???....)
10. On some brands of Christmas lights of Eastern origin:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to what?)
11. On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(Now, somebody out there, please help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
12. Instructions on a SA Airways packet of peanuts -
[1] Open packet;
[2] Eat nuts.
(Step 3: say what?)
13. On a child's Superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(Don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
14. On a German chainsaw ..
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
15. On Woolworth's Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom)
"Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
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