Aliens

Two aliens landed in the Texas desert near a gas station that was
closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the
younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling.
We come in peace. Take us to your leader."

The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.

The younger alien became angry at the lack of response and the older
alien said, "I'd calm down if I were you."

The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting.
Again, there was no response.

Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he
drew his ray gun and said impatiently, "Greetings, Earthling.
We come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or
I will fire!"

The older alien warned his comrade saying, "You don't want to do that!
I don't think you should make him mad."

"Rubbish," replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the
pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball
roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and
deposited him a burnt, crumpled mess about 200 yards away in a cactus
patch.

About a half hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he
refocused his three eyes and straightened his bent antenna and looked
dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking
his big, green head. "What a ferocious creature!" exclaimed the young,
fried alien. "He damn near killed me!
How did you know he was so dangerous?"

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy
friend and replied, "If there's one thing I've learned during my
intergalactic travels, when a guy has a dick he can wrap around
himself twice and then stick it in his ear, you don't want to mess
around with him.