Nightmare

NIGHTMARE #1

After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled
over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his
lighter. Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand
"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she
replied. He opened the drawer of the bedside table and
found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a
framed
picture of another man. Naturally, the guy began to worry
"Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously
"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him
"Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all,"
she said
nibbling away at his ear. "Well, who is he then?"
demanded
the bewildered guy. Calmly, the girl replied,
"That's me before
the surgery ."

NIGHTMARE #2

The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so
he was
trying to think of a way to rekindle it. One night
he came from
work, and found his wife asleep in bed. He thought
to himself,
"what should I do?" "Oh-I know." He proceeded to
get under
the covers and go down on his wife.
Soon she began to gently squirm and moan in
pleasure.
After a few minutes, her body spasmed with ecstasy
as she
climaxed. Afterwards, the man went straight to the
bathroom to
brush his teeth. When he got there, the light was on and he saw his wife there shaving her legs. He exclaimed
"What are you doing in here?!?" She said, "Shhhh!," pointing at the bed,
"You'll wake your mother"