SA's answer to Chuck Norris!!!!!

Screw Chuck, we have Steve!
Steve Hofmeyer once sakkied with 10 Poppies at once.
Steve Hofmeyer drives a Tata.
Steve Hofmeyer braai's with his fingers.
Steve Hofmeyer doesn't support the Bulls, the Bulls support Steve Hofmeyer.
Steve Hofmeyer doesn't have a good voice, the microphone is scared of Steve Hofmeyer
and makes his voice perfect.
When Steve Hofmeyer stares at raw meat it turns to biltong.
Bless Bridges didn't die in a car crash Steve Hofmeyer beat him to death with a red rose.
Morkels gives Steve Hofmeyer any guarantee he wants.
Steve Hofmeyer repossessed Bob Mugabe's Farm.
Not even Chuck Norris gets as many fathers day cards as Steve Hofmeyer.
The "National Party" is actually a term to describe Steve Hofmeyer's birthday celebrations...
Steve Hofmeyer cannot count. He doesn't need to.
Klipdrift is actually Steve Hofmeyer's urine.
Osama Bin Laden and Steve Hofmeyer have the same amount of letters in both their names. Coincidence?
Steve Hofmeyer is the only man alive to turn down Patricia Lewis.
Steve Hofmeyer can get through on Vodacom.
When Steve Hofmeyer goes to Pick 'n Pay he just picks