Thursday, December 13, 2007
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Rugby Lovers
A man had great tickets for the World Cup Final.
As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the empty seat next to him.
"No," he says. "The seat is empty."
"This is incredible!" says the other man. "Who in their right mind would save a seat like this for the World Cup Final, the biggest sporting event, and not use it?"
"Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven't been to together since we got married.
"Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head. "No. They're all at the funeral..."
As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the empty seat next to him.
"No," he says. "The seat is empty."
"This is incredible!" says the other man. "Who in their right mind would save a seat like this for the World Cup Final, the biggest sporting event, and not use it?"
"Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven't been to together since we got married.
"Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head. "No. They're all at the funeral..."
Amaizingly simple home remedies
1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.
2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.
3. Avoid arguments with the wife about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Daily Thought:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.
3. Avoid arguments with the wife about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Daily Thought:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Education in South Africa
The school inspector is assigned to the grade 4 class in one of thelocal schools. He is introduced to the class by the teacher.She says to the class: "Let's show the inspector just how clever youare by allowing him to ask you a question." The inspector reasons thatnormally class starts with religious instruction, so he will ask abiblical question.He asks: "Class, who broke down the walls of Jericho ?"For a full minute there is absolute silence. The children all juststare at him blankly. Eventually Sipho raises his hand. The Inspectorexcitedly points to him. Sipho stands up and replies:"Sir, I do not know who broke down the walls of Jericho , but I canassure you it wasn't me."Of course the inspector is shocked by the answer and looks at theteacher for an explanation. Realizing that he is perturbed, the teachersays: Well, I've known Sipho since the beginning of the year, and Ibelieve that if he says that he didn't do it, then he didn't do it."The inspector is even more shocked at this and storms down to theprincipal's office and tells him what happened, to which the principalreplies :"I don't know the boy, but I socialize every now and then with histeacher, and I believe her. If she feels that the boy is innocent, thenhe must be innocent."The inspector can't believe what he is hearing. He grabs the phone onthe principal's desk and in a rage dials the Minister of Education'stelephone number and rattles the entire occurrence to Him and asks himwhat he thinks of the education standard in SA.The Minister sighs heavily and replies:"I don't know the boy, the teacher, nor the principal, but just getthree quotes and have the wall fixed!!"
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Scrat's new olimpic event
The new sport scrat want to introduce to the olimpics
100m, 200m and 400m
sorry no relay yet
100m, 200m and 400m
sorry no relay yet
new member to our house
His name is Oscar, and he don't go to meetings.
Guess you can see he fit right in.
He recently stopped smoking and get real grumpy. but nothing like a cold one to calm him down.
Guess you can see he fit right in.
He recently stopped smoking and get real grumpy. but nothing like a cold one to calm him down.
to be continued:
Penthouse golf day
Well what is there more to say some ugly ho's and some nice ones.
End of the day 3 golf carts got written off.
Scrat got himself platneus drunk agiain..
shit happens.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Scrat is back
Hi all
Sorry for the long wait.
Had plenty mails from frieds shitting me out on saying that I was neglegting this site.
Friends asked that I am still alive.
Sorry all once again.
Being a bit busy and lots of shit to come with it.
Bad luck in 3's
Got pissed lost my car radio's face
Hit a pothole wit my car and fucked up 2 tires
laptop got hit by lightning (AC/DC thunderstruck)
Radio - R2000-00
Tires - R2000-00
Laptop - R5000-00
That is R9000-00 damage in 3 fucking days.
Plus the Scrat moved from his old habitat to a new one with a good buddy.
We still need to sort out internet and our server at our habitat
Sorry for the long wait.
Had plenty mails from frieds shitting me out on saying that I was neglegting this site.
Friends asked that I am still alive.
Sorry all once again.
Being a bit busy and lots of shit to come with it.
Bad luck in 3's
Got pissed lost my car radio's face
Hit a pothole wit my car and fucked up 2 tires
laptop got hit by lightning (AC/DC thunderstruck)
Radio - R2000-00
Tires - R2000-00
Laptop - R5000-00
That is R9000-00 damage in 3 fucking days.
Plus the Scrat moved from his old habitat to a new one with a good buddy.
We still need to sort out internet and our server at our habitat
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