Look at this. They tried to sell me a blind platneus and a empty cooldrink can again
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007
AFRIKAANS 'N LEKKER TAAL
Afrikaans is darem ’n befokte taal. Die nuwe woord vir hoerhuis is, TIMBERCITY…
Jy kan opkap, stoot, suig, spyker, dril, skuur, opklim, aangee, en selfs draadtrek, alles onder een dak.
Jy kan opkap, stoot, suig, spyker, dril, skuur, opklim, aangee, en selfs draadtrek, alles onder een dak.
SOME BRAIN TWISTERS
Read out loud the text inside the triangle below.
More than likely you said, "A bird in the bush," and....... if this IS what YOU said, then you failed to see that the word THE is repeated twice! Sorry, look again.
Next, let's play with some words.
What do you see?
Count every " F " in the following text:
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...
HOW MANY ?
WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke
READ IT AGAIN !
Really, go back and try to find the 6 F's before you scroll down. The reasoning behind is further down.
The brain cannot process "OF".
O lny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinerv tisy,
it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
More than likely you said, "A bird in the bush," and....... if this IS what YOU said, then you failed to see that the word THE is repeated twice! Sorry, look again.Next, let's play with some words.
What do you see?
In black you can read the word GOOD, in white the word EVIL (inside each black letter is a white letter). It's all very physiological too, because it visualizes the concept that good can't exist without evil (or the absence of good is evil).
Now, what do you see?
You may not see it at first, but the white spaces read the word optical, the blue landscape reads the word illusion Look again! Can you see why this painting is called an optical illusion?
What do you see here?
This one is quite tricky!
The word TEACH reflects as LEARN.
Count every " F " in the following text:
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...
HOW MANY ?
WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke
READ IT AGAIN !
Really, go back and try to find the 6 F's before you scroll down. The reasoning behind is further down.
The brain cannot process "OF".
O lny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinerv tisy,
it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
This is where my life comes to an end....
ONE MORNING YOU OPEN YOUR EYES AND IN THE CORNER OF THE ROOM
RIGHT ABOVE YOUR HEAD YOU SEE THIS...................
What will you do!!!!!!!
RIGHT ABOVE YOUR HEAD YOU SEE THIS...................
What will you do!!!!!!!
Depressed
I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline.
Got connected to a call center in Pakistan.
I told them I was suicidal.
They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Got connected to a call center in Pakistan.
I told them I was suicidal.
They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Pick up lines in : brakpan, kempton park, springs & benoni
1) Did you fart, cause you blew me away!
2) Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.
3) My Love for you is like diarrhoea ... I can't hold it in.
4) Do you have a library card, 'cause I'd like to sign you out.
5) Is there a mirror in your pants, because I can see myself in them.
6) If you and I were Squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole.
7) You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
8) Man - "Fat Penguin!"
Woman - "WHAT?"
Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."
9) I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bedrock.
10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
11) Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
12) If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.
13) Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it, my nuts tighten up.
2) Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.
3) My Love for you is like diarrhoea ... I can't hold it in.
4) Do you have a library card, 'cause I'd like to sign you out.
5) Is there a mirror in your pants, because I can see myself in them.
6) If you and I were Squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole.
7) You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
8) Man - "Fat Penguin!"
Woman - "WHAT?"
Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."
9) I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bedrock.
10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
11) Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
12) If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.
13) Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it, my nuts tighten up.
Smarter wife
A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been asked to go
fishing up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We'll be
gone for a week.
This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a week
and set out my rod and fishing box?
We're leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas."
The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy, but being the good wife she is,
does exactly what her husband has asked.
The following weekend he comes home, a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish. He says, "Yes! Lots of Salmon,
some Bluegill, and a few Swordfish. But why didn't you pack my new blue
silk pajamas like I asked you to do?"
The wife replies, "I did. They're in your fishing box..."
fishing up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We'll be
gone for a week.
This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a week
and set out my rod and fishing box?
We're leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas."
The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy, but being the good wife she is,
does exactly what her husband has asked.
The following weekend he comes home, a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish. He says, "Yes! Lots of Salmon,
some Bluegill, and a few Swordfish. But why didn't you pack my new blue
silk pajamas like I asked you to do?"
The wife replies, "I did. They're in your fishing box..."
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Rugby Lovers
A man had great tickets for the World Cup Final.
As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the empty seat next to him.
"No," he says. "The seat is empty."
"This is incredible!" says the other man. "Who in their right mind would save a seat like this for the World Cup Final, the biggest sporting event, and not use it?"
"Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven't been to together since we got married.
"Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head. "No. They're all at the funeral..."
As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the empty seat next to him.
"No," he says. "The seat is empty."
"This is incredible!" says the other man. "Who in their right mind would save a seat like this for the World Cup Final, the biggest sporting event, and not use it?"
"Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven't been to together since we got married.
"Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head. "No. They're all at the funeral..."
Amaizingly simple home remedies
1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.
2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.
3. Avoid arguments with the wife about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Daily Thought:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.
3. Avoid arguments with the wife about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Daily Thought:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
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