This was a reply to an article, in the Mercury (last week),
where the previously disadvantaged (Platneus) stated that it's not too late
for the previously advantaged (including whites, Indians and Coloureds)
to apologise for apartheid. Check out the reply. Just too hot and so true.
Did anyone read the paper last week (Mercury) where the main
headline stated the following?
It's not too late for whites to say sorry for
apartheid.............
Check the email that went around responding to the headline.
It's a kick ass response.!!!
'To the Previously Disadvantaged
We are sorry that our ancestors were intelligent, advanced and
daring enough to explore the wild oceans to discover new countries and
develop them.
We are sorry that those who came before us took you out of the
bush and taught you that there was more to life than beating drums,
killing each other and chasing animals with sticks and stones.
We are sorry that they planned, funded and developed roads,
towns,mines, factories, airports and harbours, all of which you now
claim to be your long deprived inheritance giving you every right to
change and rename these at your discretion.
We are sorry that our parents taught us the value of small but
strong families, to not breed like rabbits and end up as underfed,
diseased,illiterate shack dwellers living in poverty.
We are sorry that when the evil apartheid government provided
you with schools, you decided they'd look better without windows or in
piles of ashes.
We happily gave up those bad days of getting spanked in our all
white schools for doing something wrong and much prefer these days of
freedom where problems can be resolved with knives and guns.
We are sorry that it is hard to shake off the bitterness of the
past when you keep on raping, torturing and killing our friends and
family members, and then hide behind the fence of 'human rights' with
smiles on your faces.
We are sorry that we do not trust the government. We have no
reason to be so suspicious because none of these poor hard working
intellectuals have ever been involved in any form of corruption or 'irregularities'.
We are sorry that we do not trust the police force and, even
though they have openly admitted that they have lost the war against crime
and criminals, we should not be negative and just ignore their
corruption and carry on hoping for the best.
We are sorry that it is more important to you to have players of
colour in our national teams than winning games and promoting
patriotism. We know that sponsorship doesn't depend on a team's success.
We are sorry that our border posts have been flung open and now
left you competing for jobs against illegal immigrants from our beautiful
neighbouring countries. All of them countries that have grown
into economic powerhouses after kicking out the 'settlers'.
We are sorry that we don't believe in witchcraft, beetroot and
garlic cures, urinating on street corners, virginity testing,
slaughtering of bulls in our back yards, trading women for cattle and other
barbaric practices.
Maybe we just grew up differently.
We are sorry that your medical care, water supplies, roads,
railways and electricity supplies are going down the toilet because skilled
people who could have planned for and resolved these issues had to be
thrown away because they were of the wrong ethnic background and now
have to work in foreign countries where their skills are more needed.
We are so sorry that we'd like this country to fulfill its
potential so we can once again be proud South Africans.
The Previously Advantaged'
Ps. In the old regime...we had lights and water
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Male Compassion
Gina returned from a doctor's visit one day and told her husband Pat that the doctor said she only had 24 hours to live.
Wiping away her tears, she asked him to make love to her.
Of course he agreed and they made passionate love.
Six hours later Gina went to him again, and said, 'Honey, now I only have 18 hours left to live. Maybe we could make love again?' Pat agreed and again they made love.
Later Gina was getting into bed when she realized she now had only eight hours of life left. she touched Pat's shoulder and said, Honey?
Please? Just one more time before I die.' he agreed, then afterward he rolled over and fell asleep.
Gina, however, heard the clock ticking in her head, and she tossed and turned until she was down to only four more hours. She tapped her husband on the shoulder to wake him up.
Honey, I only have four hours left! Could we...?'
Her husband sat up abruptly, turned to her and said, 'Listen Gina', I'm not being funny but I have to get up in the morning and you don't.'
Gina returned from a doctor's visit one day and told her husband Pat that the doctor said she only had 24 hours to live.
Wiping away her tears, she asked him to make love to her.
Of course he agreed and they made passionate love.
Six hours later Gina went to him again, and said, 'Honey, now I only have 18 hours left to live. Maybe we could make love again?' Pat agreed and again they made love.
Later Gina was getting into bed when she realized she now had only eight hours of life left. she touched Pat's shoulder and said, Honey?
Please? Just one more time before I die.' he agreed, then afterward he rolled over and fell asleep.
Gina, however, heard the clock ticking in her head, and she tossed and turned until she was down to only four more hours. She tapped her husband on the shoulder to wake him up.
Honey, I only have four hours left! Could we...?'
Her husband sat up abruptly, turned to her and said, 'Listen Gina', I'm not being funny but I have to get up in the morning and you don't.'
Ma, hoe spel mens boks
DIE SEUNTJIE VAN SO STANDERD 1 GAAN NA SY MA
SEUN: MA HOE SPEL 'n MENS 'BOKS'
MA: NEE MY KIND, DIE WOORD BOKS BESTAAN NIE EINTLIK NIE, DIE KORREKTE WOORD IS DOOS
SEUN: OK, DANKIE MA
DIE VOLGENDE DAG KOM DIE SEUN MET DIK GEHUILDE Oë VAN DIE SKOOL AF.
MA : WAT HET GEBEUR MY KIND?
SEUN: ONS MOES VIR VANDAG SE AFRIKAANSE KLAS 'N OPSTEL SKRYF OOR SPORT EN EK HET NET MET DIE NAAM VAN MY OPSTEL BEGIN TOE MENEER DIT SIEN, MY GRYP,KANTOOR TOE NEEM EN MY 'N PAK SLAE GEE.
MA : WAT WAS JOU OPSTEL SE NAAM MY KIND?
SEUN : EK HOU MEER VAN DOOS AS VAN RUGBY
SEUN: MA HOE SPEL 'n MENS 'BOKS'
MA: NEE MY KIND, DIE WOORD BOKS BESTAAN NIE EINTLIK NIE, DIE KORREKTE WOORD IS DOOS
SEUN: OK, DANKIE MA
DIE VOLGENDE DAG KOM DIE SEUN MET DIK GEHUILDE Oë VAN DIE SKOOL AF.
MA : WAT HET GEBEUR MY KIND?
SEUN: ONS MOES VIR VANDAG SE AFRIKAANSE KLAS 'N OPSTEL SKRYF OOR SPORT EN EK HET NET MET DIE NAAM VAN MY OPSTEL BEGIN TOE MENEER DIT SIEN, MY GRYP,KANTOOR TOE NEEM EN MY 'N PAK SLAE GEE.
MA : WAT WAS JOU OPSTEL SE NAAM MY KIND?
SEUN : EK HOU MEER VAN DOOS AS VAN RUGBY
Quote
A girl bought her boyfriend a present for his birthday.
He opened it and said. 'What the hell would I want with a rocket?'
She said 'You wanted space...now f*ck off!'
He opened it and said. 'What the hell would I want with a rocket?'
She said 'You wanted space...now f*ck off!'
Nudist Colony
A man joined a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he took off his clothes and started to wander around the area. A gorgeous petite blonde walked by, and the man immediately got an erection.
The woman noticed his erection, came over to him and asked, 'did you call for me?'
The man replied, 'No, what do you mean?'
She said, 'You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.'
Smiling, she lead him to the side of the swimming pool, laid down on a towel eagerly pulled him to her and happily let him have his way with her.
Later, the man continued to explore the colony's facilities. He entered the sauna and as he sat down, he farted. Within seconds a huge, hairy man lumbered out of the steam room toward him
Did you call for me?' asked the hairy man.
'No, what do you mean?' replied the newcomer.
'You must be new.' answered the hairy man, 'It's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.' The huge man easily spun him around, put him over a bench and had his way with the newcomer. The newcomer staggered back to the colony office where he was greeted by a smiling, naked receptionist, 'May I help you?' she asked.
'Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the $500 membership fee.'
'But, Sir,' she replied, 'you've only been here a few hours. You haven't had a chance to see all our facilities.'
'Listen lady, I'm 65 years old. I only get an erection once a month, but I fart 15 times a day. I'm outta here.'
The woman noticed his erection, came over to him and asked, 'did you call for me?'
The man replied, 'No, what do you mean?'
She said, 'You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.'
Smiling, she lead him to the side of the swimming pool, laid down on a towel eagerly pulled him to her and happily let him have his way with her.
Later, the man continued to explore the colony's facilities. He entered the sauna and as he sat down, he farted. Within seconds a huge, hairy man lumbered out of the steam room toward him
Did you call for me?' asked the hairy man.
'No, what do you mean?' replied the newcomer.
'You must be new.' answered the hairy man, 'It's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.' The huge man easily spun him around, put him over a bench and had his way with the newcomer. The newcomer staggered back to the colony office where he was greeted by a smiling, naked receptionist, 'May I help you?' she asked.
'Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the $500 membership fee.'
'But, Sir,' she replied, 'you've only been here a few hours. You haven't had a chance to see all our facilities.'
'Listen lady, I'm 65 years old. I only get an erection once a month, but I fart 15 times a day. I'm outta here.'
Friday, October 3, 2008
Thursday, October 2, 2008
ITALIAN BOY'S CONFESSION
'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'.
The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?'
'Yes, Father, it is.'
'And who was the girl you were with?'
'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation'
'Well, Jo ey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now.
Was it Tina Minetti?'
'I cannot say.'
'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'
'I'll never tell.'
'Was it Nina Capelli?'
'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'
'Was it Cathy Piriano?'
'My lips are sealed. '
'Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?'
'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'
The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, Jo ey Pagano, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?'
'Four months vacation and five good leads.
The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?'
'Yes, Father, it is.'
'And who was the girl you were with?'
'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation'
'Well, Jo ey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now.
Was it Tina Minetti?'
'I cannot say.'
'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'
'I'll never tell.'
'Was it Nina Capelli?'
'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'
'Was it Cathy Piriano?'
'My lips are sealed. '
'Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?'
'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'
The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, Jo ey Pagano, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?'
'Four months vacation and five good leads.
Fondling Fingers
A typical married couple was lying in bed one night. The wife had curled up ready to go to sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on to read a book.
As he was reading, he paused and reached over to his wife and started fondling her 'kitty'. He did this only for a very short while. Then he would stop, and resume reading his book.
The wife gradually became aroused with this. Thinking that her husband was seeking some response as encouragement, before going any further, she got up and started stripping in front of him.
The husband confused, asked, 'What are you doing taking all your clothes off?'
The wife replied, 'You were playing with my 'kitty', I thought it was foreplay to stimulate making love with you tonight. The husband said, 'No, not at all.'
Then the wife asked, 'Well what the hell were you doing then?'
To which the husband replied, 'I was wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages in the book.'
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
The Baker's man can!
"Bakers Biscuits het 'n nuwe koekie ontwerp, CLITORIS CREAMS. Wees net gewaarsku! Een lek aan daai koekie, en jy vreet die hele doos op"
"CAUSE THE BAKERS MAN CAN"
"CAUSE THE BAKERS MAN CAN"
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