Wednesday, September 26, 2007
What day is it?
Scrat got himself shit drunk again last night………………………
Fuck I am at work………..mmmmmmm mmmmm
How the fuck did I get here.
Last night started off at a new pool club that opened just down the road. Scrat had to meet a very close and good friend there…. Needless to say there was not much of scenery there. We where the only two fucking people there…
We decided to go to the Keg a bit further down the road and we got stuck there… A couple of people greeted the scrat on his name. In the back of my mind I was thinking.
Who the fuck is and how do they know my name.
We got back to good conversation and lots of Tequila…. And a nightmare occurred…… they called last round.
Last option was to go to Froggies. Stop there and there was a couple of cars, but the security gate was closed. Some guy opened the door and shouted across the parking area. “It is the scrat” That was only the fucking fourth person for the night Scrat did not know from a bar of soap.
Bumped into an old golf friend of mine. First question he asked. “What happened between the sexy blond golf couch and the Scrat 3 years ago?” The Scat had no answer. So he took the Scrat’s mobile tree number and said that she was looking for my number since I have changed it 2 years ago.
Yippeeeeee free putting lessons
Fuck I am at work………..mmmmmmm mmmmm
How the fuck did I get here.
Last night started off at a new pool club that opened just down the road. Scrat had to meet a very close and good friend there…. Needless to say there was not much of scenery there. We where the only two fucking people there…
We decided to go to the Keg a bit further down the road and we got stuck there… A couple of people greeted the scrat on his name. In the back of my mind I was thinking.
Who the fuck is and how do they know my name.
We got back to good conversation and lots of Tequila…. And a nightmare occurred…… they called last round.
Last option was to go to Froggies. Stop there and there was a couple of cars, but the security gate was closed. Some guy opened the door and shouted across the parking area. “It is the scrat” That was only the fucking fourth person for the night Scrat did not know from a bar of soap.
Bumped into an old golf friend of mine. First question he asked. “What happened between the sexy blond golf couch and the Scrat 3 years ago?” The Scat had no answer. So he took the Scrat’s mobile tree number and said that she was looking for my number since I have changed it 2 years ago.
Yippeeeeee free putting lessons
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Sore Balls
Two women were playing golf.
One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men.
He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.
"Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me,"she told him.
"Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes," the man replied.
He was in obvious agony, lying in the foetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin.
At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside.
She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, "How does that feel"?
He replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell!"
One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men.
He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.
"Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me,"she told him.
"Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes," the man replied.
He was in obvious agony, lying in the foetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin.
At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside.
She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, "How does that feel"?
He replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell!"
Friday, September 14, 2007
Meraai & Gatiep
Meraai vang Gatiep met 'n los vrou in die bed.Sy gooi hom van die vierde verdieping af en skree:"Jou blêrrie insek! As jy kan steek dan kan jy vlieg ook!"
****
Meraai aan Gatiep na seks: "Jong jy het ook maar 'n ou klein kitaartjie!"Gatiep: "Ja maar ek het nou ook nie geweet ek moet vanaand in die City Hall perform nie!"
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Meraai loop straataf met ´n matras op haar kop.Gatiep: Wa gat djy met djou furniture?Meraai: Hierie is g´n furniture nie. Dis my workshop!
****
Regter: Hoe kan jy onskuldig pleit as 5 persone jou sien steel het?Gatiep: Djou Honour, ek kan thousands mense bring wat my nie gesien steel het nie.
****
Meraai aan Gatiep na seks: "Jong jy het ook maar 'n ou klein kitaartjie!"Gatiep: "Ja maar ek het nou ook nie geweet ek moet vanaand in die City Hall perform nie!"
****
Meraai loop straataf met ´n matras op haar kop.Gatiep: Wa gat djy met djou furniture?Meraai: Hierie is g´n furniture nie. Dis my workshop!
****
Regter: Hoe kan jy onskuldig pleit as 5 persone jou sien steel het?Gatiep: Djou Honour, ek kan thousands mense bring wat my nie gesien steel het nie.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
How to handle a husband
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beach.
Their domestic tranquillity had long been the talk of the town
"What a peaceful & loving couple". The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage
"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the man.
"We visited the Grand Canyon in Arizona and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, "That's once." We proceeded a little further and the horse stumbled again, this time causing her to drop her water. Once more my wife quietly said, "That's twice." We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for a third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.
"And from that moment... we have lived happily ever after."
Their domestic tranquillity had long been the talk of the town
"What a peaceful & loving couple". The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage
"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the man.
"We visited the Grand Canyon in Arizona and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, "That's once." We proceeded a little further and the horse stumbled again, this time causing her to drop her water. Once more my wife quietly said, "That's twice." We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for a third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.
"And from that moment... we have lived happily ever after."
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